Self Honesty

Living with reality requires a truthful heart and mind.

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Exploiting Trust


By Sharon Dalzell-Schlotthauer

Hearing a commercial come on the radio, I turn the radio off. I am tired of being bombarded by suggestions that I probably have termites or rodents in the basement and I need an exterminator for my house that I can ‘refi’ as easily as falling off a log. These repetitive suggestions are meant to bypass our conscious recognition. The most powerful suggestions operate in the subconscious mind and become our prejudices, assumptions, and habits of thinking. These suggestions given to us from outside sources, such as radio tv, movies, operate like the way we chew gum without thinking about it, the way we reach for certain brands, and shop at particular stores. The method used is post hypnotic suggestion, or neuro linguistic programming, known as NLP, and is profoundly effective, especially with repetition. The idea is to implant the name of a brand into the subconscious mind. Then, when the roof leaks, we automatically think of that particular roofing company, the one that we always hear on the radio.

TV marketing or advertising uses hypnotic suggestion to encourage or lead us to whatever is being offered for sale.

Hypnotic marketing strategies sometimes if not oftentimes exploit our trust, utilizing suggestive evocative images and phrases meant to tug at our sentiments and inspire a willingness to buy whatever is being offered for sale. An introduction followed by some free information, or gift , or help is given . The marketing strategy is to ignite in the individual the spirit of reciprocity. The target market means a group or an individual being led to desire a product or process, that supposedly, will give that group or individual satisfaction. Through a gift being offered, the desire to purchase the product or process is being inserted into the subconscious mind . The strategy instills trust in the receiver. By this means, our, ( the target market ) sense of fairness is triggered because we think that the giver has shown faith and trust in us by giving us something, perhaps, truly valuable. And, we begin to show faith and trust in return by buying product from what we consider a trusted vendor, After accepting a free gift, we “take the bait” or trust and believe that what is being purchased will benefit us , meet our needs, and satisfy our desires. Sometimes there is some satisfaction, often times just the opposite. How many times has the consumer felt and actually been sold a promise in a product or service that fell far short of that promise.

How strange I felt when I realized that that marketing techniques, post hypnotic suggestion, guided imagery, NLP were the same techniques that I was learning in my study of hypnosis. The difference being that my intention was and is to use the techniques to benefit the individual as she or he decides. For instance hypnosis can be successful in it’s power to break habits that my clients no longer want, beliefs running automatically below the level of consciousness via the subconscious mind, sometimes the very beliefs put there by marketing strategies. Those advertising campaigns glamorizing junk food, cigarettes, or other legal addictive substances, using alluring images of good feelings , hypnotic suggestion that these products have great value .

It is clear that hypnotic suggestion is a double-edged sword.

It can be used to manipulate the subconscious mind destructively or constructively. It’s a tool that depends on the integrity of who is using it. Considering hypnotic suggestion that goes beyond even marketing strategies selling products to consumers, notice the absurd or destructive behavior in which crowds can be led by a hypnotic speaker, to offer huge amounts of money in return for some notion of abundance returning ten fold, or worse the hypnotic power of a speaker who can stir up a hate driven lynch mob. It is important to notice and to remember that suggestion is not a trifling matter.

Our ability to trust our perceptions and our environment is as vital to our survival as our ability to be learn from whatever events we have experienced as painful , sometimes traumatic. When our trust has been exploited, manipulated by outside forces, we either begin to refuse or become afraid to trust what is going on in and around us, or we become denizens believing and doing whatever we’re told. Either way, obedient or rebellious, we are still, more often than not, at the mercy of hypnotic suggestions coming at us and into our minds, from outside influence that bypass the conscious mind and influence our thinking without our being aware of what is being placed in our minds.

We can use hypnotic suggestion for our own benefit.

We can use this same set of hypnotic tools to undo thinking habits that have been inserted into our subconscious minds, provided we do it consciously. We can anchor the notion to disobey no longer useful or wanted old ideas that are running automatically in our subconscious minds and take advantage of a hypnotic trance to instill in our subconscious minds the notion of confidence, freedom of expression, freedom to make new and different choices. We can dislodge old fear based limits and anchor belief in freedom to make mistakes, engaging in trial and error to find new and better ways of living, creating a world in which we want to live. We can change the content of our subconscious minds, for our own benefit. We can break free of what has been inserted by in authentic authorities. We can move beyond whatever limits in mind that keep us frightened of the unknown, of failure of success. Finding we can change and clear our minds for our own benefit is an awakening of our creative power. It s a genuinely valuable use of the mind.


5 Reasons to Question Monogamy at Elephant Journal

Sketch of ClassicLet’s look at both monogamy and commitment with fresh eyes and consider five reasons to question both cultural ideas.

Let’s not oversimplify the deceit exemplified by Ashley Madison. Widespread cheating suggests sexual impulses exist beyond monogamy.

Many arguments against freer sexuality provoke fear and even persecution exemplified in slut shaming, honor killings and LGBT harassment.

The discovery of trial and error expands our choices. Discovery also exposes our mistakes.

For example, discovering what sex will not do liberates us from our imagination. Read More … Got to Elephant Journal 

Sex, Wild or Mild

SharonI stand for mutual freedom and respect among consenting adults, however we might  decide to express ourselves sexually, straight, gay, or bi, wild or mild.

Here’s a video about the risks of unconscious sexuality.   One of my dear friends and lovers, Todd, produced this piece.


Eat This

Sharon Big Pharma has just the perfect  expensive pill for you to take to treat the various ailments and diseases  the American diet has caused you.


(short posts because I’m learning to post)


Polyamorous Expectations

Originally Published at

Sharon Sex Talk Pic1The angst often associated with relationships may not be because a damn thing is wrong, but because the events are different than our expectations. The ability to let go of ideals becomes even more important in non-monogamous interactions because of the emotional vulnerability… Continue Reading

Co-Written by Sharon Dalzell and Todd Vickers

Sharon & Todd have been in an open relationship for over 20 years

How I Found My Orgasm

Published at NoShameInSex.Com

Sharon Sex Talk Pic1At twenty five I had yet to experience an orgasm try as I might with a willing partner. I was fed up with wondering what the big fuss was about sex. I have since experienced an array of orgasmic delights over the years beginning with my determination to experience any type of orgasm at all. Up till I came the first time, I honestly thought that pizza was a tastier treat than sex. My then husband found an old vibrator out in the barn… Continue Reading

Are We Just Following the Dots?

FollowdadotsI’ve heard this  ‘think outside the box’ quote for quite some time.  What box are they talking about?  Do they mean the habitual thinking that runs much of our lives? The beliefs that tell us who we are? Is this the box we look into to find our daily instructions for life? Pretty much these instructions are ‘what we always do,’ perhaps modified  a little over time out of necessity.  Living in said ‘box,’ our lifetime can be eaten up slowly without satisfaction. This is the reason to think outside the box.

I’m going to ask a different question.

What happens without this box of ideas? Will we fly apart, will pieces of us blow away in the wind? Are we unable to think or feel or reason?  Will we be at the mercy of circumstances,  the vicissitudes of life? Oh yeah, like we aren’t already!  Somehow we learn that we are thinking in a box and told to think outside of it. Are you confused yet? I know I am.

Leaving my wiseacre talent aside. What would thinking outside the box look like? That question suggests there must be more than what is inside said ‘box’. I say loud and clear, ‘there is no box!’  This cliché is a way of speaking about patterns in our minds. Our personal ‘box’  gives us our individual sense of identity and beliefs about the world .

Some folks enjoy a more positive system of belief, some are negative. We even hear that such ideas leads to the haves and the have-nots. This supposes positive beliefs suggest a feeling welcome to everything, a green light to take or manifest and not worry about the effect on others or the planet. There is a kind of negative system of belief that tends to worry about oneself, the world and others, to feel responsible for the effect of humanity on the planet. It’s weird how these ideas play out over and over and are seldom recognized when shown as ineffective.

If our habits of mind produce an individual identity existing in a ‘box’ we’re now asked to think outside of? OMG, WTF etc! Aren’t we being seduced to believe that we are in this box in the first place? Whether housewife or whore,  the dots are laid out before us inside our box of beliefs. Remember, we are talking about beliefs,not facts.

Our own, box of ideas we filled from our history, some beliefs are quite old, the best marketers of the day tweak these ideas with the help of focus groups, psychologists and other ‘experts’ who figure out how to sell us the same old load of nonsense, in new shiny packaging, usually with a sexual zip to it, in innuendo of course. The ad’s don’t say “lose weight, get a boob job and get your pussy licked all you want!”

A temporary solution to the failure of our beliefs is our tendency to buy a lot of crap, made by neo-slave labor, what we call ‘retail therapy.’ How often are these things a momentary pleasure, but strangely unsatisfying and that feeling in turn creates a desire for more.  We imagine that the next purchase will be the right one and give real satisfaction. This is another way we follow the dots and try to live in our box. However, if you’re like me, the effort and money you’ve spent gets you no where, it leaves you both high and dry and up shit creek without a paddle. Apparently, we just need to think outside the box. But,  we don’t have instructions to get out of the box. Just how are we to think beyond our identity and it’s old limits? Would we just be following other dots right back into another box? This kind of game leads to two outcomes, either you lose, or you lose a different way.

Consider the vague title of this writing,  Do we Follow The Dots or NOT? That is the question I am posing: Is it possible to not follow the dots, to leave behind automatic instructions your habituated mind?

We can Consciously disobey our habits of mind. The dots are just patterns of thinking, they can be followed or not. You can actually can disobey, even  the patterns in your mind that give you your sense of security.  I have, and I can tell you it is always truly exciting being in the unknown and improvising from the facts. It is so new, so alive, and not without risk. On the other hand,  unquestioned beliefs that are automatic and offer false sense of security can be dashed by unforeseen circumstances.

Habits give you fewer choices in your own life. Ideas that keep you hog-tied are not safe! You absorb many of these beliefs in your family, social, and religious culture. These ideas are poured into your young brain as facts when it may actually be prejudice and this happens without your conscious consent. How do you know you are you are thinking your own thoughts simply do a rendition of what you learned. If you rebel, you’re still being led by the belief and now you’re just following the dots in the opposite direction.

Did I say it was just you that follows the dots? It’s everyone who does not know that it is possible to disobey the mind without rebelling. Disobeying the mind, means consciously not following the dots. The decision is yours. You can  be a slave to ideas or be consciously intuiting, reasoning and living in trial and error. You can navigate, create a new way that is neither obeying or rebelling just by being here, using your past ideas without being imprisoned by them. Nothing was ever done that someone wasn’t the first to do. You can live discovering what ideas to keep because you are discovering continuously what has value in the real world.

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